David Cake

Stolen Time

2009-12-09T18:43:00.003-05:00

There is nothing quite so sweet as stolen time.

For over a month and a half I have been a full-time father to my six month old son. He's teething, and got a cold recently, and hates to nap. During the day if he can help it he won't sleep more than an hour or two total. He gets up at 7:00am at the latest. During our time together I have developed (discovered?) the methods to get him to sleep at night: lots of food, fresh diaper, low light, and steady white background noise. My rocking and shooshing techniques have the subtlety and practiced skill of many hours of practice. I can almost calm from across the room if he fusses in the middle of the night. I'm getting pretty damn good at running errands on my own with the little guy, to the point where I look forward to taking him out and about daily.

But I need a break, once in a while. Kasey is the breadwinner and works about forty hours a week. She sleeps while I get up with him, feed him, entertain him, make sure he doesn't gum our shoes or eat power cords. I do the daily cleaning with my no doubt larger left arm full of little Jonas. I'd love to see scientific data supporting this, but I think my sway back actually saves me a lot of back pain since it's already curved inward more than normal. I get tired. Espresso helps.

So we visit Grandma Sheila a lot. It helps that she lives so close now. We can walk there, him hanging from the front of me in a baby carrier, in less than four minutes. We go over there and watch TV and I eat popcorn and M&Ms and still feed him and help change him. It's a small rest, but not much. So I relish the rare occasions I can bring myself to drop him off there, like today.

I came home and took some very personal time, reading in the room my father did most of his in while I was growing up. I browsed the Internet, uploaded some pics of my son, chatted with friends online. I finished watching a documentary on people who live out in the badlands of New Mexico without power, plumbing, etc. It's so hard to do anything straight through with an infant.

Less than two hours in I get a text from his grandmother stating only, "getting tired". I reply that I'll be there shortly. "Shortly" is wonderfully vague. That was thirty minutes ago. In another thirty I'll probably leave. I had just started up the hookah and a movie I've been wanting to watch for years. It's questionable, but I need some time. Just a little more time.

I know previous posts and tweets have expressed mostly annoyance and frustration, but I do love the little shit. He's so pretty. He loves me too, I can see it. He trusts me, he looks for me. He gets a little sad when I leave, as sad as the attention span of a six month old allows, I guess. I miss him already and it's been only two and a half hours. Fifteen minutes and I'll leave. Maybe I'll get another double espresso.

I wish it could stay like this. My job could be my family, my home. Cleaning up after my pets and cooking. I'll be a disheveled housewife, gladly. My hair, falling out of it's tie, already looks the part. I've been reading, catching up on rented movies, walking. It's really quite enjoyable. I take this as a sign of end times for my unemployment, however. Just as I'm getting it down. Ten minutes to go. Five after proofreading.

Maybe I should start playing the lotto. But Vegas wasn't built on winners, as my dad said once.

- David

Let's Go

2009-12-09T17:55:00.001-05:00

Let's Go, originally uploaded by BodhiDave.

Six of one or half-dozen of the other new pics of the Jonas. He's six months old now and his first tooth is creeping out of his bottom gum in the front. Too cute!

- David

X-Mas Tyme

2009-12-05T00:45:00.002-05:00

Sooo, Christmas and my birthday are coming up here pretty soon. I'm older and had to borrow money from family members because 1) I got let go and 2) HP apparently had a major problem getting paychecks out so I still haven't received my last paycheck and as a result my wishlist is pretty small this year. There's like five things, and it's all crap I'd use on a daily basis.

So there you go. My guilt has been slowly building year by year and I swear, I SWEAR, this year that pictures and Christmas cards are going out to peeps.

Take care, be merry and bright.

- David

Buchta in a Basket

2009-11-18T17:53:00.001-05:00

Buchta in a Basket, originally uploaded by BodhiDave.

A couple new pics of the little one are up, click the pic to see more!

- David

Phaze 10 Race Results!

2009-10-26T19:11:00.002-04:00

Congrats to Justin, Kurtz, and Jose for top places!

I hope everyone enjoyed it, I put a lot of time and thought into it. I wish more people would have showed up but I'm thankful for the ones that did. We had two people show up because of the fliers and one placed third and the other kept me company while the racers came and went. I learned some sign language as a result!

The format of this race was a little different. Instead of knowing all the checkpoints at the beginning of the race, participants only knew one checkpoint at a time and would have to come back to the start after each one to learn the next. I also added three garages into the mix which (despite some people taking the elevators, cheaters!) proved to tire out the riders like I'd hoped. I know I was tired after placing all of the printouts at each spot.

The next race we have coming up is on Halloween and I'm definitely looking forward to it.

Thanks all who came out!

- David

Same Place, New Time

2009-10-21T17:52:00.002-04:00

With new fliers as well, that have actually been put up!

Sunday should have great weather, hope to see a lot of people there.

- David

Jonas Pixels

2009-10-18T14:57:00.004-04:00

Laughing Jonas from David Buchta on Vimeo.

He laughs in the first one and bounces in the second.

- David

Phaze 10 Bike Race

2009-10-14T19:29:00.002-04:00

I'm putting on my first race this Sunday, Oct 18th at 6:00pm. Tell your peeps, the more the merrier. Our bike community is pretty slutty; we're happy to take all riders.

Jonas and I will be manning a checkpoint, come out and see us and have some fun!

- David

Taco Bell and Tunnels

2009-09-26T21:20:00.003-04:00

The baby starts to make small frustrated noises. The man is asleep in the bed a foot away. He snaps awake and looks at the clock. Thirty minutes. He has only slept thirty minutes. His alarm has a little over three minutes left until it would have woken him.

The man gets up, making shushing noises, and looks into the crib. The baby is laying on his side jerking his head and arms as he glances around wearing a displeased and confused look. His face is already reddening. The man picks a yellow and white pacifier off the starred bed sheet and places it back in the baby's mouth. For a moment the noise stops and the baby is calm again. The man can smell the not-altogether unpleasant smell of a wet diaper as his hand nearly envelopes the baby's warm torso and gently rocks him. The baby is young enough yet that only one of his wastes actually smells bad.

The man caresses the baby's head of perfectly soft skin and light hair back to front back to front. The baby's breathing slows, the pacifier moves in it's tiny way that no machine or computer animation could ever match. The man likes to watch it.

The baby's eyes pop open, the pacifier falls out of his mouth and he begins to cry again. The man fusses with him, running through a quick list of fixes. Nothing works. He picks the baby up, holding him against his chest, the small warm head in the crook of his neck. He places the pacifier back in the baby's mouth and begins to rock him up and down, shushing in time. He places his hand on the baby's back, thumb keeping the pacifier in place, index along the side of his head, fingers across his neck. This usually calms him.

The man rocks the baby up and down up and down up and down, stepping from one foot to the other. He goes out into the hall where the light is more dim and it's a bit cooler. Once in a while the baby starts awake like he just remembered something he had to do. The man tries to keep the baby's head on his chest but he knows that being too forceful will make things worse. He lets the baby look around then gently lays his head back down. There is a clock on the floor. The man passes seven full minutes this way.

The baby seems to be asleep. The man puts his sleeping pad in the bed and lays the baby on it. He lays down close and pulls the covers up over both of them. The AC vent is right above the bed and he doesn't want the baby to be cold. Within five seconds the baby is fussing. Within ten he is crying and will not accept the pacifier. The man knows it is pointless now.

The man picks the baby up and puts him atop his chest. He is desperate, trying anything. The baby sleeps like this on the fiance every morning. Replacing the pacifier the man rocks the baby, patting his back. It is no use. The baby is loud now. All the man wants is some more sleep for them both. The baby has only slept thirty minutes in over six hours, the man about four hours in the last twenty-four. He is always so tired.

The man suddenly flips the baby over to lay on his back and tells him to shut up, shut up. The baby continues on, unaffected. The man lifts the baby into his arms and pushes the pacifier into his crying mouth and heads for the kitchen. He starts the warmer, pours six ounces of formula into a bottle, and sets the timer. The baby is very loud now. The man rocks him vigorously trying to shush him but his voice is drown out by the wails.

The baby pushes off the man spinning his head to the left and the right looking for god knows what. His face is red and his mouth is a permanent inverted horseshoe. He keeps rejecting the pacifier and it almost falls to the floor. The man squeezes the baby tight against him, feeling the warm skin against his arms. The baby's legs are stretched straight, his head rising and falling with dangerous speed. He almost catches the man's chin with his brow bone. The man is very alone at this moment.

The man yells for the baby to be quiet. He is so frustrated his vision barely registers. All he can do is hear the crying, the crying that never ends. It's weight on the entire length of his nervous system, the wires grounding into a silent scream of his whole being. The man walks from kitchen to living room and back rocking the baby hard. The baby's cries die down a little either from tiredness or the man's attempts to calm him. The man doesn't care which. The timer goes off after six minutes of eternity.

The man and the baby sit on the red couch in front of the television. The baby is still upset. The man begins to feed him without pausing to start the movie stalled on the DVD menu. The baby accepts the bottle. The whole world goes quiet. His tiny hands flutter around the bottle, clumsily trying to hold it for himself already. The man watches as the hands explore. He leans his head down to kiss the baby and smell his skin. He runs his lips against the baby's hair. He leaves his lips pressed to the top of his head for a long time.

---

The baby pushes himself off the man's chest and burps. He lowers himself down and back up; he has spit-up on his forehead, cheeks, and chin. He smiles at the man and glances away for a moment, being coy. He coos and talks to the man in single vowels as the formula is wiped from his face. The man smiles at his son and asks him questions in an excited tone of voice, punctuating his questions by tickling his chest or dabbing at his mouth. The baby is happy, and so is the man. At this moment the man is no longer alone.

The man picks a clean Onesie with a loose neck and easily slips it over the calm face and playful arms. He lays the baby down on the red couch and puts in a new DVD with lots of color and sound. He begins to change the baby's diaper, keeping his tone and face playful. He hands the baby the bottom of his Onesie and asks him to hold it for him. The baby always helps in this way unless he's crying. The baby watches the man with a small smile. After a while he grabs the hanging end of his car seat restraint and clumsily puts it in his mouth as he watches the television.

The baby's face is calm. The man always wonders what he is thinking. The man idly thinks about the baby's future: about what his voice will sound like when he can speak, about what he'll say and ask, about the hundred things he'll want to be when he grows up. He wonders what traits of his he will inherit, like he has from his father. The father's father is his yardstick and his example. There are so many things he wishes he could simply give the baby, things that everyone must learn for themselves even if it takes a lifetime. The man wants to spare him from any pain physical or otherwise.

The man still checks on the baby in the night to see if he's breathing. He will risk the baby's cries to feel his tiny chest rise and fall with his sleeping breath, to brush a smooth arm or leg to see the baby move. He would give up limb and organ for the sake of his son. The man has loved intensely and known with finality that he would forfeit his life for another. But this goes beyond that. No words can touch it. It's in every cell and electrical impulse and thought. It is his being. This is what the entire Universe has purposed him for. It goes beyond cliche and higher thought processes. But the man knows even this is lacking. It is unnameable in the truest sense he has ever known.

The baby is lifted up and held against the man in hug that cannot yet be returned. The man hopes some part of the baby can recognize it. He places him in the seat and sweet talks him all the way to the car.

---

The baby is in his car seat behind the passenger side. Normally the baby is calmed by driving, but now he is whimpering. The man stops singing and looks for a place to put his drink. There is none. He pulls over into a parking spot parallel to the street and stretches back to find the pacifier. He places it back in the baby's mouth and contorts his arm to reach behind him and keep it in place as he drives. He strokes the baby's head and face with his fingers. He has to keep his arm there for the entire drive and his first two fingers feel as fat and as dead as a drowning victim. They drive through the night with no real destination and the baby begins to cry every time the car stops. It is a long drive.

The man wants to bring dinner home to the fiance. He pulls into the drive-through of a fast food restaurant. The baby is finally asleep but the man eyes him warily as the car stops moving. The baby stays asleep. Fifteen minutes go by before the man even has a chance to pay. The fiance calls when he is next in line. Work is over and she is walking the short distance home since he isn't there. The man says he'll be there soon.

The man stops the car at the mouth of the tunnel. A city worker in impossibly fluorescent green coveralls with reflective strips has stopped traffic. There is one car ahead of him. He sees a tow truck enter the tunnel and thinks there has been a wreck. The baby wakes up and begins to cry. The man has read there is no scientific proof that a baby's cry changes with it's complaint, but to him this sounds like the baby doesn't like the stillness of the car. There is no where for the man to go. He is trapped.

The baby turns his head from side to side trying to get away from the pacifier. The man doesn't understand why the baby does this. He shushes him and looks towards the tunnel, helpless. Nothing is moving. He begins to rock the car seat and the baby stops fussing. After a few minutes he is quiet again as long as the seat is rocking. The man tries different positions in the front seat, always sure to keep his arm moving. Time passes and cars turn off their lights and engines. The man's entire faculty is pointed towards the baby, hyper-alert for signs of distress.

The man is able to drive through. When he removes his hand from the baby's head nothing happens and he is thankful. It has been less than six miles to his house since the drive-through but it has taken him an hour to travel the distance.

The man is able to get inside his apartment without waking the baby, carrying the car seat with the child still inside across the lawn and up the flight of stairs. No one answers when he knocks. Unlocking the door he hears the white noise of the shower. He sets the car seat down but does not remove the baby. He sits on the red couch and rests his chin on the heels of his hands. His eyes begin to water. The man takes his glasses off and cries into the darkness of his covered eyes.

---

The fiance enters the room, two colorful towels concealing her clean skin and hair. She asks the man if he is okay. He can only shrug. She comes to sit near him and he begins to cry again. He hides his eyes and can't stop the despair in his voice as he retells the horrors of the crying baby and the long drive-through line and closed tunnel. Even as he hears himself he realizes how melodramatic it sounds. How ridiculous. The man says aloud a thought he would only let himself half realize: it can't be possible for things to be like this. The fiance's hands are warm on his back and leg as she comforts him. After a time he meets her eyes and surprised to see that she has been crying as well. The man feels better.

The man cannot later recall if they let him sleep through the night or wake him for a last bottle and change before laying him in the dark bedroom for the only long stretch of sleep he'll have that day. The fiance and the man spend time together on the red couch watching the television and talking easily about nothing. Their legs are jumbled together as they lay at opposite ends. They are enjoying the respite of each others company. Then man's ears regularly perk up for the faint sound of the baby's cry two rooms away but he hears nothing.

The baby is laying on his side, his face serene in the low light. The man looks down on him with an expression he senses is a mix of unbearable tenderness and torture. But the baby is asleep and breathing and at this moment nothing can be wrong in the world. The man lays his hand on his son and whispers goodnight or only thinks it, he can't tell which. Two dogs, a cat, the baby, and his fiance are all bedding down in that room for the night. He lays down next to the fiance and they warm each other as they fall asleep. The man does not dream but he wakes rested the next morning.

Local News

2009-09-19T14:41:00.001-04:00

It feels like a good time to have one of those general update posts that don't really have a point besides bringing all of my gorgeous readers up to speed on the mundanities of my little universe. So here we go!

Jonas is getting bigger and more people-like every day. While his laughs are still a little rare we've found some noises that seem to amuse him. Particularly fart noises. He also seems to be teething, which is a cruel joke both on him as he cannot yet hold things in his mouth (unless you count his fist) and on us as we had just started to get a good rhythm down. As you may have read he's also taking us to the end of our wits. He's lucky he's so pretty. He's definitely ensured he'll be an only child. We've busted out a couple new toys for him as he can hold his head up now without effort, including one of those bouncy chairs that dangle from the doorway. I have a video of that I'll upload later, but he really seemed to like it.

My grandma sent us a package for him last week that contained a baby medical book by Dr. Spock (no kidding), some little sandals, and a cool little shirt, along with the life jacket I used a small child. Which I can't believe she still has and love that she sent. It has the very first address I ever lived in written on the inside and bite marks out of the shoulders where I would slowly bite the foam until the orange plastic skin would break. Hidden in the book was some money my dad cleverly asked-without-asking if I found just to see if we'd actually use it. Kasey cracked that thing open with a quickness!

Work is work, with the added bonus of having all my patience sapped by a baby and leaving very little for my agents. Luckily I am a professional and a gentleman and only talk smack about them behind their backs instead of tossing them out of the closest sixth-story window. We have a company picnic tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it. It's always interesting to see how people dress outside of a business casual dress code, they seem totally different. Looking at a map now it's only six miles away from where I park the car to ride into work so I may bikey bike it.

Speaking of bikes, I've been an abysmal cyclist of late. Again (frowny face). For a second there I was commuting more days than not, but that promptly ended when I got way off my sleep schedule. Which I'm also blaming on my crankiness, feelings of nausea and hopelessness, and erections lasting longer than four hours. Usually they last three, tops. I missed a kick-ass race last weekend that when I think about it now still makes me want to chop off my ear or something. Hopefully we do another one like it before too long. Last night I did a little bike maintenance and it was very therapeutic: I installed new brake pads, sewed up sidewall tears in my newest set of tires and put one on the back wheel, lubed my chain, and pumped up my tires. Now if I could only get to the riding part.

We applied for a new apartment. Same neighborhood, just a few blocks back towards the river. It's a frickin' huge two-bedroom two-bath number with enough storage to house a family of runaway immigrants comfortably in and enough old school charm to obsess Kasey for a week straight. I went out and rented Rosemary's Baby because it reminded me of that so much; surprisingly huge apartment in the middle of an area where you wouldn't suspect there to be one and the whole thing is old and kinda strange. We're supposed to hear back here any day now, we got fingers and toes crossed.

And on the topic of obsession (see how I'm tying all my paragraphs together? The hordes of hot high school girls who I just know read this blog should take note) I am going insane over Muse lately. It kind of started when we borrowed Twilight from Kasey's mom and I discovered the only catchy song in the whole movie was from a newer album I hadn't heard yet. I've loved Absolution since about college and Muse was already listed in the Music sections of my various social networking profiles. Still, I put Black Holes and Revelations on my iPod and was shocked to discover I was blaring nearly every song. Promptly I could listen to nothing else.

Y'all know by now that I'm a big softy so I don't mind telling you there are a few songs that are so epic and amazing that I've cried a little listening to them. Biking to work one morning with a song called "Knights of Cydonia" playing over my portable speaker there came a part in the song that blended with my exertion on the bike and the empty dark streets of 5:00 in the morning and created a moment so perfect and beautiful and somehow heroic that I was laughing and crying at the same time. And even though Dr. Kasey McSnobbypants, music Ph.D, says it doesn't technically classify as one, the guitar solo in "Invincible" gets me every time unless I focus a little bit of me on something else. In fact that whole song gets me, and the music video made it even worse!

Not sad emo cries like, "Finally someone understands my pain, wah wah wah razorblades", but just an overwhelming feeling of... who the fuck knows. I hesitate to even try to find the words. It's just amazing to me, utterly amazing. My iPod battery died yesterday and I had some driving to do so I found me a Best Buy and practically ran in the store to get the CD. The CD! That should say something. I ended up getting a second one that came with a DVD of the concert for Black Holes and Revelations and I've watched it twice already. I'm straying into fanboy territory already, but if you haven't heard this album you should give it a shot. Fer reals.

And with that it's time for me to go home. Have a good weekend, sees you guys on the other side.

- David

Anger

2009-09-17T08:10:00.002-04:00

I watch anger well up in me like back-flow from a clogged drain, all silent and dirty with a liquid momentum that seems unstoppable.

I compulsively avoid getting upset; my bastard philosophy of Buddhism, various defense mechanisms, and laziness governs that I ignore negative emotions like anger and jealousy and focus on the more positive ones, like a buffet of emotions where I take what I want and leave the rest. It has not been lost on me that perhaps this isn't the most effective method.

But lately I am made up of disgust seething just below the surface of my smiling face, disgust for every living thing I come in contact with that gives me the least bit of friction. It bubbles up and only an unsteady surface tension keeps it from spilling over, it's skin vibrates and seems just on the edge of giving way. Co-workers, traffic, pets, my infant child; hell truly is other people. Anything that's not anger is just bland timelessness chipping away at a day that will turn into another just like it, with neutral flecks sprinkled throughout.

Yesterday was the worst day I've ever had with little Jonas. He just would not sleep. I know he was tired, I could read it on his face and hear it in the stream of dissatisfied noises that went on without end. His grandma had laid him down and gotten him to sleep ten minutes before I got home, and twenty minutes after we were left alone he woke up and fought sleep for at least three hours. And even then he woke with screaming mouth and scrunched face after not more than sixty minutes later. As a semi-logical being I know that yelling will not quiet a crying baby, but we had occasion to verify it first hand a few times yesterday. Jonas, I am sorry, but Jesus Christ kid, there's only so much a person can take. It's a scientific fact that a baby's cries go off in our nervous system like Satan's nails on our soul's chalkboard. If you think you'd never yell at a baby then you've never had one yourself.

I don't know what's wrong with me. Could lack of sleep make me feel like this? Like how I imagine sociopaths and serial killers feel? Nothing seems real. I'm covered by a layer of anger, and latent or active nothing can breathe or escape it. I have no outlet, and most days I feel too exhausted to get out of bed in time to enjoy the one outlet I do have. Eating doesn't even do it for me, lately.

I can't stay like this. I am the counterbalance. I need to recover. All I need is a moment, I'll catch up. Just let me rest a sec. Just a minute, I'll catch up...

- David

Lucky 13

2009-08-30T10:15:00.001-04:00

Red & Blue, originally uploaded by BodhiDave.

A baker's dozen of new pics have been added to my photo page, click the one above to see them all!

Me and Bonus had a good morning today, he's getting better and better all the time with the non-crying and the being cutesy.

- David

He Wears A Smile, Everybody Run

2009-08-29T12:54:00.004-04:00

At the time of this writing (which I realize now is one of my favorite phrases) I have one and one-half hours to go before my weekend starts. Getting off at 2:30pm has the advantage of giving me what feels like a whole extra day off as long as I stay active after work.

Jonas is with his grandma, Kasey works at four, and besides bringing home Taco Bell with me I have no pending engagements. My plan is to nap at four, get some riding in, maybe do some cleanin' whilst unencumbered by the Little One, and then go pick up said adorable encumbrance early in the evening.

Even though we've only spent two of them together so far, Kasey is already well aware of my habit of having twenty Halloween costume ideas shifting about at any given moment of the year. Sadly I also have the habit of procrastinating the actual costume procurement and end up dressed as nothing but a lazy Caucasian come the 31^st.

Hopefully this year is different, and the current reigning costume idea is Twin Peaks' BOB. Why? Because Bob is a scary motherfucker. Best of all, he was a complete accident that ended up being the creepiest character I think David Lynch has ever put out.

I just found a bunch of stills on Flickr of him and character Laura Palmer from Fire Walk With Me, I'm literally getting chills:

The full-sized images are doing that annoying spaceball.jpg thing, but click here if you want to see them.

If you haven't watched Twin Peaks or Fire Walk With Me you should definitely do so. Twin Peaks is quirky and adorable in addition to all of the other traits you could ascribe to a David Lynch project, while Fire Walk With Me (which are the events leading up to Twin Peaks) is straight up dark and disturbing. Sheryl Lee does an amazing job as Laura Palmer, somehow pulling off the homecoming queen and a deeply troubled girl hitting bottom perfectly, usually in the same episode. And look at those scary faces!

So I need tos start hitting up the local thrift stores. I need a jean jacket and possibly some cowboy boots, as well as a dark button up shirt I can cut the sleeves off of. Maybe I can find some jeans too that I can get nice and dirty. Cuz Bob feels dirty, like he's homeless. Then I'll get either a long grey hair wig or do that spray in stuff to my own. Do they have Halloween five o'clock shadow? In my mind the scruff is very important.

Shit, now I have to go find these on DVD.

- David

24Seven Cities Interview

2009-08-25T13:27:00.000-04:00

A few weeks back a nice man named BC Wilson sat down with me for a couple hours and let me blab on and on about cycle commuting and how I got into it, etc.

He's just posted the resultant article on 24SevenCities.com, which you can checkout here if you're so inclined. He also used a couple pictures I took, which was a nice surprise.

I think my favorite part is where he calls my facial hair "unconvincing" and when I don't show up for the ride of my own commute. Those two things together describe me so well it's blowing my mind.

- David

The Day You Were Born

2009-08-22T14:08:00.003-04:00

Your mother and I had went to bed super late that night, even though I had to work the next morning. I worked 6am to 2:30pm then as a contractor for the government doing tech support. Your mom was on a three month maternity leave stretch from Starbucks. We had a low bed from IKEA that came with a skinny "occasional table" of the same natural-colored wood which went over the bed with wheels at the bottom. We always put her laptop on that table, along with tossed clothing, and watched DVDs or listened to a CD my a dad had given us which helped a person relax with rain sounds and scientifically placed bell noises. In those days it was always movies though. At the time of this writing you're still very little and we don't' want you to wake up because of movie explosions or someone suddenly bursting into song. On another level I think we're worried about violence, profanity, and things of that nature somehow planting dark seeds in your subconscious while you sleep.

Kasey had been having pains all night, and I think randomly for the past couple of days as well. The kind that make expectant fathers nervous. Mostly in her back, rhythmic throbbing pains that made me think of constriction and the process of pushing a relatively large being through a number of small spaces. I believe we were watching Knocked Up, a movie neither of us expected to be any good but found ourselves enjoying immensely. I think your mother watched it thirty times before you were born. Depending on how old you are now, reading this, you know how your mom and I are about movies.

I dozed here and there but either your mom directly or her agonizing indirectly woke me up. It was about 3:30am and her contractions (a scary word to finally use after ten months) were at the solid two-minutes-apart mark her doctors had told us about, and they had been that way for an hour or more. So we got up. I don't think either of us were tired. I remember going through a checklist in my head of things to do and to bring. I was calm, but it was the calm that comes from knowing some bad shit could go down very soon. It reminds me of driving in horrendous snowy weather in Idaho.

We got out to the car with a couple of bags we had packed beforehand and as I went to slide in behind the wheel I realized I had forgotten your car seat! We wouldn't have been able to leave the hospital without it. I rushed back in, maybe grabbed one or two second-thought items, and told the dogs to be good and that we'd be back soon with another family member. The car we were using was your grandpa Kenny's; a grey Pontiac GrandAm. I didn't own a motor vehicle and your mom's iconic white Eagle Talon was with your grandpa, needing a few repairs that neither party had the time, money, or motivation to fix. At the time of this writing (two and half months later, about. You're getting so big every day.) it sits there still.

The hospital we were going to was out in Suffolk, and the first few times we went there with your grandma I swear it was in another state. Every few minutes your mom was raking the felt ceiling of the car and gripping the door handle in pain, and coupled with one of the few undeniable reasons to speed I was driving fast. Not crazy fast, but probably about fifteen miles an hour over the speed limit. As it was so early there were few cars and there was no problem, but it made your mom nervous so I reigned it in to an even ten miles per hour over the posted limit. It was a humid early morning, and the orange street lights spaced along the highways had a soft glow around them. It was warm, but not uncomfortably so. We had the radio on and I tried to note what songs were playing but it escapes me now. I think I made a joke about Smashing Pumpkins (your mom's first love) playing, but I can't be sure. I was thankful for the hour you started to arrive, as getting caught in traffic was the biggest concern of mine in the months leading up to your birth.

We reached the hospital and parked near the entrance we had used before and headed for the door. A waddling Kasey, having to stop every few minutes, and me with multiple bags and a growing urge to get some drugs into her as soon as possible. The first door we tried was locked. "Jesus Christ," I thought. "Who locks doors to a hospital!" If there had been a wheelchair or even a golf cart in sight I would have stolen it instantly. Your mother declined my offer to bring the car back around and find an entrance that was actually open, and we started to walk towards the front of the hospital. Main entrance: locked. I was getting upset at this point. We had to walk around to the ER entrance that had some of the red letters in EMERGENCY either burnt out or dimmed.

After three months of trying to get your mom in a wheelchair I finally got the honor and the security guard beeped us through a door at the far side of the waiting room into the main hospital area. The waiting room was surprisingly full of frail old people and others with coughs or bandages. Everyone looked tired, but I was energized and smiling. Walking through the huge empty lobby of the hospital reminded both your soon-to-be-parents of The Dawn of the Dead. The thick rubber wheels of the wheelchair made pleasant subtle noises on the clean, shiny floor reflecting the dimmed lights from he ceiling. Past the darkened gift shop, the locked up pharmacy, silent offices and glowing ATMs we got to the elevators at the far end of the hospital and entered the elevators to the third floor.

Another hospital patron was leaving the maternity ward and held the door for us, bags draped over my shoulder and settled in your mom's lap. We checked in and were quickly taken to a room that besides the hospital bed and other medical equipment could have been a motel room for business travelers. Your mother changed into a gown and was checked on by nurses, asked questions, etc. I called work and told them I wasn't coming in. I thought about calling your grandpa Chuck but decided to wait until later when we knew something for sure. The main nurse was being cautious about calling this full blown labor and admitting your mom, which annoyed myself and your grandma Sheila to no end, I'm sure. And until Kasey was admitted they couldn't give her anything for the pain.

So there she lay, and we stood, your uncle, grandfather, grandmother and I, watching in helplessness as your mom tried her best to destroy her hospital bed. Nurses came and went, your uncle got on his laptop, I tried to decide if it was easier to sit or stand by your mom's side while we waited. This seemed to go on forever.

Finally they admitted her and was able to administer something through an IV that would take the edge off those disabling contractions. Two nurses came in and needed to take some blood, and Kasey struggled through what seemed like the heaviest sleepiness ever to sign some forms. I watched them take a few vials of blood and felt very faint a few minutes later. I don't know if it was the excitement, standing with locked knees for so long, or watching them take the blood but I had to splash my face and sit down for a few minutes. I was very close to passing out and laid my head next to your mother's now prone body for a while. The drugs were quick, and while she still felt the contractions she didn't really pay them any mind. I think we were all very relieved; watching the ones you love in pain is never easy to do. Things were quiet then, for a while.

About two hours later a female doctor with short black hair came in and checked on your mom, and decided it was time to get things moving. Your water was broken quickly with what appeared to be a very long plastic chopstick (there wasn't as much volume as the movies make you think) and as the doctor went through some more preparation someone asked about the epidural.

From the very beginning your mother was pro-epidural, all the way. There was never any question. Imagine the look on your mother's face when the doctor replied that she thought we didn't want an epidural, and it was too late for one anyway. Apparently during a shift change something got lost because we had explicitly told one of the first rounds of nurses that we definitely DID want an epidural when it was time. There's probably signed paperwork in the hospital records attesting to that fact. But the time for that had passed, and now the doctor was telling us we'd have to do it without any drugs of any kind. Your mother turned her head away from the doctor towards me and started to cry instantly and silently. It was horrible. I will never forget that moment for as long as I live.

Everyone left the room save myself, the doctor, a woman shadowing her as part of her schooling, and a nurse who wheeled in a cart covered with a towel which contained various medical implements. In the corner of the room a baby incubator stood, and on the blanket draped over it lay a tiny hat in the eternal pink and blue lines of hospital baby colors, waiting for you.

For a long time your mother was sure she wouldn't be able to go through with it, without the epidural. I tried my best to give my support, as did the medical student and the black haired doctor while the contractions rolled through your mom like waves through the underside of a pier. Finally, with me at her left, the student at her right, and the doctor at her feet, she began to push you into this world.

The doctor guided your mom through her crash course in going through labor, with the rest of us giving words of support and encouragement. She'll probably cringe at this, but your mom's legs were too short for the foot rests built into the bed so the medical student and I held them throughout the entire process. A contraction would come, we three would excitedly urge your mother to push, she'd curl up around her stomach and with reddening, glistening face would do what only mothers can.

She only screamed a few times, only kicked the doctor once (which she claims was an accident), and slowly but so quickly, you began to emerge. I cried once briefly as I saw the top of your head, with tiny dark waves of hair, and placed my forehead against your mother's and whispered, "Honey I can see his head, he has hair!" The time between your crowning and your actual birth seemed the longest, as does the last hour of work or school when the moment you've been waiting for is so close, but not yet there. Your mother was amazing, and gave us long, powerful pushes beyond what the doctor was asking of her. It may be cliche, but I have never been so proud of her.

Then all at once your head and your arm popped into this world, and the rest of you followed an instant later. You began to cry immediately, no spanking required. They cleaned out your mouth and suddenly the doctor was handing me a pair of shiny scissors to cut the umbilical chord. I hadn't planned on doing this before, but found myself cutting the line between you and your mother like I had been waiting for it for months. They brought you to the baby incubator and I followed, that crying face I know so well being the only thing I could bring into focus. You were weighed, measured, etc; I can't recall it all exactly. I returned to your mom briefly, crying a little, telling her about you. You were so pretty, I couldn't believe how perfect you were. They put your little hat on and wrapped you in a blanket, and I cradled you in my arms for the first time. You had stopped crying and all that was visible was your gorgeous round face and huge dark eyes. You weighed nothing. You were so warm.

They gave us a little time with you, wrapped in a blanket and in your mother's arms, before the family came back in. It was important to me that we have a moment, your mother and I, to experience you alone before anyone else; when we got the first ultrasound of you it was exactly the same. She held you and I stood near, looking on. She spoke to you in a high little voice, already full of adoration and something no one had ever heard there before. Nobody had expected her to become a mom, but just from the sound of her voice as she talked to you for the first time I knew, I knew she loved you and would be the kind of parent that would die for her child.

Your grandma, grandpa, and uncle came back in, you were passed around. We watched them with you, your exhausted mom from her bed and I from never more than a few feet away. It was difficult to share you. I would have preferred a whole day alone with just the three of us. But we couldn't have deprived your grandparents of the opportunity to be there for the birth of their first grandchild. I called my father and told him the good news. The phone call was maybe two minutes long, I think knew I wanted to get back to you. Pictures were taken, your grandpa even busted out the camcorder, and everyone took multiple turns melting over you. They do still, and as I imagine, will for a long time coming. Someone brought us Wendy's, I uploaded pictures to the Internet before we had even moved rooms to the one we'd be staying in for the next two days. No one could stop smiling.

I can't remember sleeping much for those first few days, but I do remember the first chance I got I laid you next to me and cuddled until we both fell asleep; something the books say never to do with a new baby. But they could go to hell. You were mine, and I was doing what I wanted with my new son. My son. Crazy.

Wish We Were Three

2009-08-20T06:47:00.002-04:00

It's that day again.

It seems like so much has happened since this time last year. I wonder if this is how it will be now, the distance between these sign posts seeming longer and longer. More than birthdays, New Years, holidays, and changing seasons the anniversary of my brother's death punctuates the year, like scissors cutting long string.

As the date approached I thought about finding the person who came upon the crash and attempted to help my brother. It probably wouldn't be hard, I found a news article with his name. I contacted the person who wrote the article but they were unable to find any contact info. Maybe I could look him up at work. I know he's a military man, but not what branch. I've wanted to ask him a couple of things for a long time.

When Jonas was born I was thinking of my brother before they had even taken him away to be cleaned. He will have an Uncle Seth that he'll never get to meet. There will be stories, but that's it. Sometimes when Jonas is sleeping his round face, peach fuzz head, and baby lips reminds of the first time Seth came home from the hospital, and a series of memories of him growing up follows close behind.

I'm having a hard time at work this morning. I'm on edge and people's questions are frustrating me. I feel like going home. Hopefully tonight I can get some time to drink and watch a movie, get a good cry in. I'm definitely thinking Darjeeling Limited, for obvious reasons. I'll call my dad, and try my brother Thadius. Just to talk, not even about our loss, but just to be close to them in some way.

I had a dream last night that Kasey told me Jonas was dead. It turned out his tongue was just too small for him to make much noise, but he was fine. It's only been a few months but already I can't imagine what I would do if something happened to my son. My father's pain has always been the worst thing about this for me, but now it has a whole new dimension. Now I don't know how he survived. I don't think I could.

Be safe on those roads. Cars are dangerous, people both inside and outside die on a daily basis because of them. Stop being impatient, stop using the driving seat as a dinner table, stop emulating The Fast the The Furious. Be responsible, 43,000 people a year will thank you.

- David

Jonas Noises

2009-08-10T00:06:00.002-04:00

Just focus on the baby, cuz I sound retarded.

- David

Awesooooome

2009-08-01T12:23:00.003-04:00

Okay, normally I ignore these things on Facebook or in stupid e-mail chains, but I just couldn't pass this one up. Have you ever though it would be fun to speak in nothing but song lyrics for an entire day? Well I have, all the time. And this is pretty close to that.

Post your own in the comments!

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "My Life According to (ARTIST NAME)"

Pick Your Artist: Tom mothafuckin' Waits

Are you a male or female? A Good Man Is Hard to Find

Describe yourself: Just Another Sucker on the Vine

How do you feel: Dead and Lovely

Describe where you currently live: Heartattack and Vine

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Big in Japan

Your favorite form of transportation: Train Song

Your best friend is: Dave the Butcher

Your favorite color is: Green Grass

What's the weather like? More Than Rain

Favorite time of day: 'Till the Money Runs Out

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called: God's Away On Business

What is life to you: That Feel

Your relationships: Little Drop of Poison

Your fear: Knife Chase

What is the best advice you have to give? Hold On

If you could change your name, you would change it to: Black Market Baby

Thought for the Day: How's It Gonna End

How I would like to die: Goin' out West

My soul's present condition: Innocent When You Dream

My motto: Get Behind the Mule

!!!
BONUS! I like this so much I'm doing another artist
!!!

Pick Your Artist: Nine Inch Nails

Are you a male or female? Mr. Self Destruct

Describe yourself: Physical

How do you feel: The Persistance of Loss

Describe where you currently live: The Great Below

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: A Warm Place

Your favorite form of transportation: La Mer

Your best friend is: The Hand That Feeds

Your favorite color is: Sunspots

What's the weather like? Lights in the Sky

Favorite time of day: The Beginning of the End

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called: Somewhat Damaged

What is life to you: Happiness in Slavery

Your relationships: Help Me I am In Hell (Kidding! Couldn't resist)

Your fear: Big Man With A Gun

What is the best advice you have to give? We're In This Together

If you could change your name, you would change it to: StarFuckers, Inc.

Thought for the Day: Every Day Is Exactly the Same

How I would like to die: Sanctified

My soul's present condition: Getting Smaller

My motto: Suck

!!!
And another...
!!!

Pick Your Artist: Rilo Kiley/Jenny Lewis

Are you a male or female? Bad Man's World

Describe yourself: The Good That Won't Come Out

How do you feel: Happy

Describe where you currently live: Spectactular Views

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Dreamworld

Your favorite form of transportation: Plane Crash in C

Your best friend is: My Slumbering Heart

Your favorite color is: Under the Blacklight

What's the weather like? The Charging Sky

Favorite time of day: Always

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called: We'll Never Sleep

What is life to you: The Execution of All Things

Your relationships: With Arms Outstretched

Your fear: Accidntel Deth

What is the best advice you have to give? You Are What You Love

If you could change your name, you would change it to: August

Thought for the Day: Rise Up with Fists!!

How I would like to die: A Better Son-Daughter

My soul's present condition: It Just Is

My motto: Give A Little Love

- David

Naptastic Craptastic

2009-07-30T06:22:00.003-04:00

Ugh. I've fallen off the wagon. Or on the wagon. I can never keep those two straight.

Lately I have been taking unscheduled naps all over the place. I'm a nap whore. A sleep slut. And I was doing so good.

Here's a list of Dos and Don'ts I think will help:

Do not cuddle on the couch. I will fall asleep, no matter what I tell myself.

Do start sleeping in my car. I can't fall asleep at work due to interruptions, I think this will help greatly with everything.

Do move my alarm clocks out of reach. All three of them.

Do not sit for hours before bed. Too much inactivity.

Do have a list of things to keep me occupied after work and on the weekends.

Do not sleep on the couch for one of my naps. I won't get up.

Do not give up!

It almost tempting to give the schedule up, but I've experienced the benefits already and can't see going back voluntarily. Sure it's hard now, but that's only because I'm right in the middle of adapting and lack the willpower to be strict and get it over with quickly.

I can do it though, I just gotta hang tough. If I can just get a week or two without error I'll be good. The battle between me and my body rages on, but I will be victorious!

I hope.

- David

Tour de Pants Pics

2009-07-29T06:51:00.002-04:00

I put up the few pics I took from our recent Tour de Pants. It was a ton of fun, despite my horrendous effing flat at the end and walking from Downtown to Ghent to get my car. Grr. Click the pic to see more.

I'll post again when I get the undoubtedly better pics from the other racers.

- David

My Girl Friday Is Back!

2009-07-28T09:19:00.004-04:00

Yesterday I bought me some tools (chain wip, breaker, and lockring wrench thingy) and put My Girl Friday back together! It's been a while, I needed a rear cog put on and just never made it to the shop.

Now she's got smooth new tires, lube on the chain, and is ready to roll. Hopefully get some riding time in tonight after work.

Hope yer weekends were good.

Peace!

- David

Blarg

2009-07-24T08:26:00.002-04:00

New blog post over at A Year of Bike Commuting.com.

Jonas weighs 9 lbs now! He gained 2 lbs in 2 weeks. Crazy. He's also smiling and cooing a lot more. Pretty awesome. I think he recognizes us now.

Got a fun race coming up (see link above), looking forward to taking my pants off in public.

So tired today. Got like an hour of core sleep, had to pull over and sleep in a parking lot on the way to work. Not good. Hopefully I feel better after my 10:00am.

The weekend is almost here. Be salty.

- David

Some Kinda Social Commentary

2009-07-23T13:06:00.003-04:00

- David

Le Tour de PANTS

2009-07-21T08:07:00.004-04:00

Seven pair of pants/skirts/shorts/etc. A digital camera. A bike. And seven public locations.

I'm stoked for this Sunday. Races = fun. Taking off pants = fun. Bike race + taking off pants = super-fun. Am I gay if the thing I'm most concerned with is having an awesome pair of underpants on?

Kurtz, Jay, and Thomas dropped by Sunday and told me to grab my bike. I rushed out of the house, onto the ferry, and had a blast running around Norfolk picking out the locations we'd use as checkpoints. I haven't really ridden in like over a month. My legs remembered what to do while my mind was watching it like it was new.

Pics and stuff to come, fer sure. Come on out!

- David

3-Hour Everyman - Week 1

2009-07-19T10:00:00.000-04:00

Here be the record of my first week trying the 3-Hour Everyman polyphasic schedule. Overall I'm pretty impressed with how well I've done (usually I'm complete shite for self-control when it comes to sleep) but I do wish I had done better. Especially getting up on weekdays.

As I posted previously, the sleep deprivation wasn't near as bad as I expected and passed quickly, and it was easier to get up than I thought. Way easier. Which I'm attributing to twenty minutes being just the right amount of nap time to get rested but not give you that shitty zombie feeling like you shouldn't have even slept at all. Prior to this naps were a double-edged sword for me, and usually I was crankier and more tired after a nap than I was before it.

My only mess ups came from an alarm not being enough or being set incorrectly and me oversleeping as a result. Oh, I also consciously skipped one nap on the day I started due to company and holiday festivities.

Naps are at 10:00am, 4:00pm, and 10:00pm and my core sleep is from 2:00am until 5:00am. Tuesday through Saturday I work 6:00am to 2:30pm with a thirty-minute lunch break. I work at a computer providing technical support for the Navy and Marine Corp bases around the country. At the time of this writing I have a one-month old baby and live with my lady who's off work on maternity leave.

Here we go!

Saturday, July 4th:

Today will be my jumping off point. Fittingly enough, last night I went to sleep around the time I have scheduled for myself (2:00am) because Lil' Jonas had a tummy ache (apparently; babies are hard to read) and kept us up. I had napped around 4:00pm for a couple of hours before going to bed. My alarm started going off at 5:00am and got up finally around 5:20am.

I'll try to stay away from a lot of caffeine, but this morning I had a Starbucks Doubleshot as I drove into work. Had some brown sugar oatmeal also around 9:00am.

I was pretty tired, but no more so than I have been in the month since Jonas was born. After I got into work my energy level as about normal and I could read/sit still for long hours without getting sleepy or anything.

First Nap:
Couldn't start right at 10:00am as I had to change desks unexpectedly to cover for someone at work who decided to leave a little early. Found a comfy chair and put my feet up, put on my trusty blue hoodie, covered my eyes, and listened to Moby Dick (as I always do when I nap at work). Started the timer at about 10:17am.

Started to dream thinly (people wanted me to do something, I can't remember what) then a noise woke me with five minutes to go. Rested in the chair, got up when alarm sounded. Not groggy or blurry, felt normal. (One strange thing I'm still experiencing is a little bit of excitement as I try to nap because I'm eager to start and experience this whole thing. It's a lot less now but for about four days I felt it every time I tried to sleep.)

Second Nap:
Right on time. Walked the dogs in mild heat for about twenty-five minutes before hand. Surfed the Internet on the couch for ten minutes or so before laying down to cool off and rest. No dreams, barely any sleep if at all. I think I "exercised" too close to the nap. My middle-aged pug and puppy-aged beagle walked pretty quick and the later pulls something awful the entire walk. I made a mental note to wait until after the nap to walk them in the future since everyone says excercise right before sleep is bad.

Third Nap:
Skipped altogether. Had company over and there were fireworks! It's midnight now and I'm not tired, but my red eyes do hurt (dryness and soreness). Decided to just stay up and wait until my scheduled core nap. If I understand it correctly this is the best thing to do when missing or having a nap pushed back too far.

Overall I had good energy today, tired here and there but nothing horrible at all. It may be the excitement of starting the experiment/change but I actually feel less tired than I have in the past couple of weeks. Could also be the holiday and having friends over. Halo (OG Halo, mind you) with friends would keep anyone awake!

Sunday, July 5th

Wasn't tired last night, could be used to the lack of sleep or just because company was over. Sat in bed in the dark and watched a new movie, hallucinated a couple times about bugs just on the edge of my field of vision. The last hour or so was a little tough, head bobbing but no sleeping. Turned in right at 2:00am and think I fell asleep pretty fast. No dreams that I can recall.

Alarm went off at 5:00am, didn't feel overly tired at first waking. Sleep-logic convinced me to maybe sleep an extra 1.5 hours to make up for my skipped nap, but apparently I hit the snooze too much and didn't get up until a little after 8:30am. Kinda blown my schedule already. I did dream during the second run of sleep, but not as deeply as normal. Feel semi-groggy.

First Nap:
Even though I got up late I still started to get a bit tired before 10:00am. Laid down right on time, slept pretty well but no real dreams. Trying to sleep in my bed with a teddy bear over my eyes while Kasey and the baby hang out in the living room to avoid interruptions. Alarm on my watch didn't go off, maybe slept about forty-five minutes before they came in and got me.

Second Nap:
On time again, light dreaming. Got sleepy a bit before the nap, maybe a little more than thirty minutes before. Up on time. Started falling asleep on the couch afterward for a few seconds, got up and got moving. Made coffee, loaded some dishes in the dishwasher. Sleepiness passed before the coffee was ready. Wicked nap-wood after my second nap until I totally woke up, which seems to be happening a lot during and after these naps. (Nap-wood is probably exactly what you're thinking it is. It happens to me when I'm either comfortably super-tired or during some naps.)

Third Nap:
On schedule. Don't think I slept, did relax pretty well though. Got up on time, felt refreshed. Got tired shorty before 10:00. I'm trying to concentrate on not forcing myself to sleep and just enjoy being still. Watching my breath, etc, and doing half-assed meditation at each of these, so even if I don't sleep I'm still getting some benefit. Which helps me relax about not immediately passing out come nap time.

Monday, July 6th

Core Nap:
Went to bed a little behind schedule, Jonas was crying a bit. Fell asleep fast, dreamed a little but not as full as normal yet. Didn't reset alarm from day before and woke up naturally around 5:00am but accidentally fell asleep again until after 6:00am. It didn't even feel like any time had passed between waking up at 5:00am and again after 6:00am. Strongest case of this I've ever had. I can't actually remember when I woke up now! It was way later than it should have been, though.

First Nap:
On time, no real sleep since I slept too much before. Got close though. Up on time.

Second Nap:
Right at 4:00pm, was starting to doze on the couch right before hand. Fell asleep quickly and had light dreams. Watch alarm is pretty weak when I'm actually asleep and didn't wake me up on time. Kasey came in and woke me up forty minutes after I laid down. Pretty groggy afterward; my eyes were doing that non-teamwork thing for a while and after I rocked Jonas to sleep I actually fell asleep myself off and on for about an hour or more. Ugh. Kasey got an awesome picture of us though, passed out with mouths agape, so it was worth it.

Third Nap:
A little late due to Jonas and dinner, but only ten minutes or so. Ate right before I went to lay down. No sleep, just lots of relaxing. Set my phone alarm this time! No grogginess or tiredness.

Besides falling asleep all day things seem to be going well. Looking forward to the work week and being forced stay up during the day. It could be my extra napping but I don't feel as tired as I did before. I dunno, we'll see how it goes when I've been strictly on the 3-Hour Everyman for a week or more. I think starting this when I was already sleep deprived was actually a good idea.

Tuesday, July 7th

Core Nap:
Laid down on time, Jonas woke us up about fifteen minutes later though. Fell back asleep pretty fast and had pretty full dreams right up until the alarm went off. Kinda laid there for another twenty minutes, got up. A little tired but nothing more than any regular pre-Jonas morning, and a lot better than any post-Jonas work morning so far. A little yawny as I sat down to work but nothing crazy.

First Nap:
Started to get a little sleepy about an hour before 10:00am, work got crazy busy as it got closer but I made sure I could leave on time. Tried to slow my breathing and relax as I walked to the Quiet Room, which is basically a clean bathroom with a deadbolt, a chair, and a collector for used needles. The taped memo on the door says it's for general use.

I sat in hard plastic chair, overturned an empty recycling bin and put the hood of my sweatshirt over my eyes and my feet up. Headphones lost the rubber part so no Moby Dick today, sadly. Only seven minutes in I heard loud footsteps coming to the door, obviously a lady. Instead of leaving when she saw the Occupied sign she hovered outside the door, sighing and tapping her toe a little. I gave her four minutes and then left. Laid my head down at my friend's desk on the call center floor for the rest of the time. Needless to say, no sleep. Cranky!

Feel less tired though. No sleep-dep yet which either means I'm used it from before or just really sleeping way too long lately.

Second Nap:
Out at Kasey's mom's house. Got tired around 3:00pm on the drive over from the pediatrician. Laid down maybe fifteen minutes late. Felt nice and sleepy, slept a little bit, thin dreams again. Not too deep but really restful. (Which I'm thinking now may be the indication of deep sleep; I keep trying to compare these naps to an 8+ hour night.) No grogginess, up right on time. My 4:00pm nap is by far the best one so far; probably because for about a week prior to this we'd lay down for a long nap around then.

Third Nap:
Got home late in the 9:00pm hour, cleaned up a little, went and laid down on time. No sleep, got comfy though. I think it's still weird for me to go to sleep alone and that could be one factor holding me back. It's always kind of weirded me out to sleep solo ever since I first moved in with someone. Got up on time, maybe four minutes of sluggishness then had good energy until later in the night. Started to nod off a little with an hour to go, was able to stay awake.

Work, errands, etc were all good today. Did a lot but wasn't tired until my naps neared and it wasn't painful or disabling. (This is also the day I started to feel small bouts of euphoria and some time dilation.)

Wednesday, July 8th

Core Nap:
Jonas was cooperating and we all laid down right on time. I took a long shower before hand, which I was a little worried about as they tend to wake me up, but I fell asleep really quickly. Had nice full dreams until ~~buttface~~ the little one woke up crying with five minutes to go. Got up, changed him, was super cranky. Tried to lay back down and catch up on my lost minutes (my sleep-brain convinced me it was a good idea) and I fell asleep again quickly, more dreams. Alarm problems had me waking up thirty minutes later by my lady and rushing to get to work, super cranky again.

Hard time driving, eyes wanting to close, brain definitely trying to do the microsleep thing. Turned the AC way up and fought it off, but it was very hard . Burny eyes. After food and a few more hours I felt better, about up to normal, just tired like I haven't been the past few days. I wonder if the ten minutes made that much of a difference, or maybe taking that extra "nap" screwed me over. I should have just stayed up.

First Nap:
Headed towards a break room I figured would be deserted and it was full of trainees. Wandered around a bit, then headed to the Quiet Room. Same time as yesterday that lady showed up again, stood outside the door and talked on her cell phone. I didn't even wait this time, just left. Laid my head down on a friend's desk, blared Moby Dick and put my hood over my eyes. My friend came buy and clapped me on the back, but left after a few minutes of talking. The cleaning lady (for some insane reason) was vacuuming so I turned the iPod up. Actually fell asleep, but no dreams. Felt pretty good when I got up, barely groggy and it left quickly.

Second Nap:
Because of mandatory overtime I had to work until 4:30pm instead of 2:30pm so had to sleep again at work. Skipped all the running around and went straight to my friend's desk, played my Melville, and laid my head down. About the same quality of sleep as before, just barely got there then woke up, but didn't feel slow or groggy afterward. Not bad for being slumped over on a hard desk surface on a call center floor.

Third Nap:
Laid down on time, got very comfortable but it's hard to tell if I slept or not. A lot of these naps seem to get very close to deep sleep but for now are just some minutes of unconsciousness. Was pretty cold when I got out of bed, groggy in the eyes for a couple of minutes but then back to normal. It's weird that the 10:00pm nap isn't the best one so far, I would have guessed that's the one that actually put me to sleep. Had good energy to clean, etc, until my core nap.

(Near) Perfect Polyphasic Day!

Thursday, July 9th:

Core Nap:
Got a little sleepy about an hour before 2:00am, was laying on the couch and cuddling which is probably why. I told Kasey if she let me fall asleep I'd bite her face off. She kept me up when I started to fall asleep and we folded laundry to stay up until it was time. Laid down fifteen minutes before 2:00am but made sure I kept a light on and stayed awake until it was actually time. Wasn't difficult like it has been before, even laying down in the covers. Fell asleep quickly, had some dreams (not good enough to remember though) and woke up with Jonas about fifteen minutes before 5:00am. Kasey got up with him and took him into the living room to change/feed him and I quickly fell back asleep until about 5:15. I don't know if I need to stay up if woken before then end of the 3 hours or try to make it up, I don't want to get the cycles confused and set myself back.

First Nap:
Skipped all the running around and went straight to my friend's desk, laid my head down about twenty minutes late though. A co-worker had just quit and I walked them out with my supervisor and then back in, walking fast since I only get 30 minutes. I also had a Doubleshoot and a cup of coffee at 5:30am and 8:30am. Watch beeped when it shouldn't have, with ten minutes to go, and confused me. All of which probably contributed to a less restful nap than usual. Just bad overall.

Second Nap:
Cuddled on the couch with Kasey and Jonas instead of going into the bedroom to try and sleep alone. Set the alarm on my cellphone, but accidentally hit AM instead of PM. Fell asleep quickly but slept for about an hour. Moderately groggy when I got up, ate some peanut butter from the jar and kept moving, passed pretty quickly. Twenty minutes is definitely the magic number for naps.

Third Nap:
Cuddled again, experience and instinct tell me I fall asleep faster that way. Just call me an old softy. Took a bit to fall asleep, but seem to have gotten a fair amount. Jonas woke us up with three minutes to go. No grogginess, got right up and started doing constructive type tings.

Friday, July 10th:

Core Nap:
Got tired towards the tail end of the night, probably from the bad nap at 10:00am and/or getting too much sleep at 4:00pm. Kind of upsetting as I had a good streak going. Started dozing off on the couch with an hour to go, got up and rocked the baby, loaded the dishwasher, etc. Held it off until we laid down right at 2:00am and fell asleep without trouble. Jonas the Alarm Clock stayed quiet all night and even stayed asleep as I woke at 5:00am this morning.

I think the hard end of the Everyman adaptation period is starting to hit. At night I'm sleepier than I have been and yesterday before my 4:00pm I felt the strongest sleep-dep silliness I have all week. This morning wasn't the hardest morning by far, but it was definitely more difficult than it has been.

First Nap:
Work was pretty slow, was able to get away easily. My co-worker and bosses now follow me on Twitter and other social stalking tools so they're aware of my new sleep schedule and what I go to do at 10:00am for my lunch. I only had to explain briefly once what I was doing, now they just ask with a little laugh, "Nap time?" Went straight to the quiet corner of my friend's desk, listened to Moby Dick and relaxed pretty quickly. It feels like I slept for a bit, but no dreams. Woke up refreshed, no grogginess.

Second Nap:
Hung out on the couch for thirty minutes after driving home in Friday traffic a little tired, but not uncomfortably so. Laid down on the couch with my lady and our baby and fell asleep quickly, overslept because my trusty cell phone alarm died and my watch didn't get me up. Slept maybe an hour. Was groggy, hard to get up. Got active cleaning, messing with Jonas, etc, and it went away gradually.

Third Nap:
Comfortably sleepy before my 10:00pm nap. I've been watching my food intake right before my naps (which I wasn't doing before) and it seems to help. Haven't eaten much since before my 4:00pm nap, but not hungry. Laid down in the mostly-dark bedroom, relaxed to my breathing and a CD my dad gave us that has bells playing with the sound of rain. No dreams again, but felt good when I woke up. Got dressed, put my hoodie on as I've learned I get really cold after these naps, made food, etc.

I didn't have any crazy tiredness today, but at work between my second and third nap my sense of time did seem really off (kept thinking it was Saturday, which may have just been because work was slow for once) and had a strong feeling of surreality. My work performance wasn't affected, it was just interesting for a few hours to feel like maybe I was dreaming.

Saturday, July 11th:

Core Nap:
Maybe eight minutes late, getting the baby ready to be still. Nice and healthily tired, laid down and dozed off quickly, woke up maybe a few minutes in to replace his pacifier (which we call his Friend) then right back out. Had more solid dreams than I've had in a while, which I remembered briefly a few hours ago but are lost again. I smiled when I woke up because I could remember them. Also, I had this really strong sensation of smelling BBQ sauce when I got up. Strong enough to look around like maybe someone brought some ribs into the bedroom. No idea what that was about. For nearly all intents and purposes my household is vegetarian.

A little tired on the way to work, not bad. Had a Doubleshoot at my desk early on (I made the mistake of over-rubbing my eyes as I logged in and it made a ton more sleepy) but didn't eat before my first nap.

First Nap:
Headphones on, hoodie up, feet up, Moby Dick playing. Laying back in a chair instead of forward on my arm across a desk. It's so hard to tell how long I sit there before sleep, but it didn't seem take very long. Had one thin dream, woke up and rested for maybe another five minutes before the alarm went off. Refreshed, no BBQ smell.

And here we've come full circle. I was gonna complete it for the rest of the day, but I didn't get around to blogging again on this until now and can't remember the details.

I realize this is pretty tedious on both ends, so I'm thinking of only doing highlights for the next couple of weeks. I do like having a detailed record of how strict I've been and how I've felt, etc so who knows. Y'all may be bombarded with another stalker-esque log of my habits.

Night night night night night.

- David